Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
