Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize