She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
