I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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