I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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