He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize