My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
