1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
