I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
