Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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