I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
