I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
