There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
whose ass print is on the piano?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
