i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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