If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize