Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
