Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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