i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
