I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
