Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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