So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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