someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
