Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
