Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
And the cops told us we were all naked.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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