we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
