This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
