All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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