I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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