I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I have post one night stand depression
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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