i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
