I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
