Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
