Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
