Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
is wine microwaveable?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
