I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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