Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize