dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I FOUND THE LEGS
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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