i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Someone came in the potted fern
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
