12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
