I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
