WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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