I'm going to jail i love you
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
