I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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