let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
