oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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