I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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