awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
