Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
they're like a gay fantastic four
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
