I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
