Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
