please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
