P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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