Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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