well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
