i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
