The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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