Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
